Identity Before Hustle

We sit down with Christopher Anthony to talk about why so many capable people feel stuck even when success looks inevitable. We connect identity, surrender, and self-trust to the daily choices that shape integrity, leadership, and real execution. 
• why men often feel unsafe sharing emotions and how that impacts relationships 
• the gap between believing you will succeed and acting like it 
• using interviews and mentorship to design a schedule that matches your priorities 
• surrendering procrastination and people pleasing tied to abandonment wounds 
• learning discernment about who to let speak into your life 
• coaching vs consulting vs mentorship and what “ready” looks like 
• building self-trust by defining consistency and keeping small promises 
• forming a healthy identity rooted beyond roles and performance 
• finding morals and values through research, Scripture, and honest self-questioning 
• integrity as keeping promises to yourself and honoring God through stewardship 

I ask everyone to take a pause. If you listen when you listen to this, just pause, breathe, and ask yourself, Am I becoming the person that I choose to become? If you need help, you have my information, ClarityCreatesCurrency.com. Social media is my name at Chris DiazendogA Anthony. 

Transcript

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Cold Open On Surrender

SPEAKER_00 0:05

I had to surrender to people pleasing, procrastination. I I cared so much about people that I I attached it to abandonment.

Welcome And Why Men Stay Quiet

SPEAKER_02 0:21

So welcome to Overcomer Podcast. My name is Maggie, and today I have the honor of welcoming Christopher Anthony. So Christopher is an identity and execution strategist speaker, an entrepreneur, and a founder of Clarity Currency. His website is Clarity Creates Currency.com. So check it out. Please welcome my guest today, Christopher Anthony.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Thank you for having me on. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

It's I'm so happy that you're here.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Glad to be here.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

I've meditated on this conversation and wondered like what it's like to be a man.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

And the only reason I say it that way is because we have a lot of teachings for women. There's a lot of things for, you know, healing sermons and we have all of these things, but very little for men. And recently I was listening to a podcast where it was all men. And in the podcast, they were talking about how men are not able to share their emotions.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

And that was very intriguing to me because, you know, if a man shares their emotions, I believe that it it what from they were from their perspective, it was they are very weak. And but now we live in a new generation where they want, we want the man to express himself. And we want them to know, you know, we want to know as a female what bothers you, what hurts you, what helps you grow, what motivates you.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

And I could see why a lot of men don't, because if a woman is not healed, she can use all that to damage him. And so I I I one of the reasons I wanted you to come on when I read your bio, you were talking about you have a son. Correct. Yes. So congratulations, being a great father, being there for him. Thank you. And my first question to you would be if every powerful message is usually born from a painful place, what happened in your life that made identity become such a personal pursuit rather than just a professional one?

Success Without Alignment

SPEAKER_00 2:35

I remember going into coaching, and when I first went into it and I told other people it was the thought of, oh, he wants to be this big time speaker coach and all this. When in reality, that wasn't it. It was more of I wanted to find myself. I knew that I was confident in myself. I knew I could win. I knew I would be successful. So that wasn't a question for me. The question that haunted me was if I know I'm going to be successful, and that part is clear, then why aren't my actions congruent to that? And so I went on a huge journey. A huge journey. One thing I like to do is just interview. So I interviewed executives, athletes, sales professionals, all the different areas that I had been in. And what I started to figure out was everybody pretty much had the same question.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Okay, what was that?

SPEAKER_00 3:45

The question of okay, I'm I know I'm successful, but why aren't these things lining up?

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

And so that's what led me to Clarity Currency.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

And I and I was reading your bio, and what I what pinpointed for me was like procrastination.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

Because you know, we can be very successful in things, but we procrastinate in others. And I'm I'm guilty, like I'm be vulnerable here. So procrastination was something that I was always doing, waiting to the last minute, waiting to the last minute. And then, like you said, when you interview people and you see people uh that are successful, they wake up at four in the morning, they work out, you know, they study, they learn something. You know, what what was your schedule like when you were starting out to find out

Finding A Schedule That Fits

SPEAKER_02 4:30

who you were going to be or you know what you wanted to do?

SPEAKER_00 4:35

The schedule in the beginning?

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Yeah, the schedule in the beginning compared to now.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

The schedule in the beginning was all over the place. I mean, I would the the thought process. So I play I play collegiate football, and the thought process was always you wake up early, you can get things done early. It's different when you're on your own, because in football, you have the ability to wake up early and then go where someone already has things planned out for you. However, when you're on your own, if you don't have anything planned, then what are you doing? And so it took me a while to really figure out how to plan my schedule accordingly to where my priorities are the first thing that I do after my morning routine. What is my actual morning routine? So all these different things that I didn't know that you that were necessary, some and some helpful, but chasing the right people. And when I say chasing, I mean, you know, finding the right people that actually you look up to that have the life that you want to live. I started doing that, and when I did that, it allowed me to figure out what was best for me and my schedule.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

What were some of the questions that you would that you would ask them?

SPEAKER_00 6:02

What's your schedule? I mean, that was number one. That was, I mean, easily. I remember talking to an individual, he made 20 million plus a year, and we were, he had just gotten off stage, and that was one of the first questions I asked him. You know, I'm struggling, you know, I wake up early, but I just haven't figured out what I need to do because there's so many things, so much information online. But I see you're exactly where I want to be. You're doing what I what I want to do. You have the family that I want to have. So all those things lined up. So what's your schedule?

SPEAKER_02 6:44

So during those seasons, was there ever a battle or thought that came to your mind as to everybody's now seeing you succeed, but in reality, you were still not where you wanted to be. They didn't see the behind the scenes, you know, they were seeing you succeed, and in privately

The Hidden Battle Behind Confidence

SPEAKER_02 7:05

you were like questioning everything. What did that look like? And how did you manage to come out of that?

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Man, you talk about being vulnerable. It was definitely the case. You know, I would have people look at me and see confidence, but I felt divided. They would see ambition because I'm I'm waking up early, I'm doing all this hard work and all that. But for me, even during that time, I remember questioning everything God had for me. And I kept asking myself, is this actually the way that you want me to go? And just all those thoughts led me to really start asking myself that question, is this really the way that God wants me to go? And when I started to do that, what I did more than anything else was surrender. And the surrendering allowed me to start really focusing and honing in on what needed to be focused on, and I started finding the things that would lead me in the right direction, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

Yes, I I know that a lot of times surrendering require looks different to a lot of people because we have we have a lot of things, different people, different things that we have to surrender to. Right. And so, what was some of the things that you had to surrender?

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Oh man, I had to surrender to procrastination. I had to surrender to people pleasing. I cared so much about people that I I attached it to abandonment, abandonment that

Surrendering Procrastination And People Pleasing

SPEAKER_00 8:55

I got, you know, from early childhood, whether it was a family leaving or you know, a a girlfriend leaving, or, you know, just people are things leaving from my past. And all those things I started to attach and at the same time figure out, okay, this is something that needs to be changed.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

What was the greatest lie that you ever had to shut down? I know you said procrastination and and people pleasing, but a lot of times people, I think in general, we don't realize what those things are until someone exposes them. We are surrounded by someone that's more in a successful place that can actually say, you know, what I see here, did you allow people to speak into your life to be able to be that vulnerable? You know, because you when you when you let people in, you you have to be vulnerable. Right. And they get to see your weaknesses and they get to see all of these things. And so was there someone specific, particular that said, hey, listen, you know, I want to share with you, like, how did you know you had an abandonment problem? How did you know that those were obstacles in your life that were causing you from not going forward?

SPEAKER_00 10:17

I would say for me, that's still that's still something that I work on. You know, allowing somebody in your life, but also but just I call it throwing up on somebody, just negativity and just everything are two different things, right? It's like when you when you come to someone, you want you want to come to them with the challenge. So not the not the problem, but the challenge that you have. And the reason it's a challenge is because it can be worked out and fixed. So you want to be able to do that versus just coming to them and looking for an answer from them because you don't learn that way, right? So there were a lot of people back then and still to this day that offered to come into

Letting The Right Voices In

SPEAKER_00 11:10

my life. I'll be man enough to admit that I didn't allow everyone. And and also I was at a you know, when you're young, you don't fully know unless someone teaches you how to discern who's the right person to actually let into your life. And so I let at the what I now see as the wrong people into my life to speak into me, and it caused trauma that stopped me from allowing the right people to actually speak into my life. So now actually having that discernment to where it's like, okay, really allow those individuals to come into your life and and truly speak because you know they're coming from the right place.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

You tell me a little bit more about go back a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

And go a little bit deeper about what you just mentioned.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

Because I know that you have to be teachable in order to receive those kinds of things.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

Right.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

So, how did you know that within yourself you were ready to be taught? Because, you know, I've I've I have had met women that want to be mentored. And they'll come to me and they'll say, you know, could you be my mentor? Can you be my spiritual mother? And I'm like, I don't think you want me as your spiritual mother mentor. And then they're like, and I tell them, okay, and then I want you to do this. And you know, these are things I want you to, I require of you to do. And then they don't want to do it. And so in my heart, it was like, okay, well, I'll give you another, I'll give you grace and we'll do it again. And I give them something to do. And it's usually my test to them to see how really so sincere they are.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Right.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

And then I'll do it a third time. And then after the third time, if I see that they don't follow through, then I cut them off. And then I said, you know, you're not ready. And they'll be like, no, no, I am. I promise, you know, no, you're not ready. And so it's like a lot of them don't know that they're not ready.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Right.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

So how did you know that you were ready?

SPEAKER_00 13:22

To be honest, I mean, you're you're helping me with part of that right now. One of my coaches right now, he says, he says, you have to understand that people that the person that you're looking to get advice from, if they're in a high, high up position or if they're in a successful place, they don't need you. And so if they don't need you, I mean, by you giving them you know two and three chances, that shows more than enough care that you actually want to help. So for them to still not truly fulfill that, in that position, you don't have to actually look back. And if you're not chasing that individual, then that enough shows that you're not ready. Yeah. Uh, if you're not willing to listen to that person, because there's there's a difference between you have, you know, coaching,

Coaching Mentorship And Proving You Want It

SPEAKER_00 14:20

mentorship, guidance, and consulting, right? So coaching is one of those, is is that place where I'm asking you these questions and you're answering them. And when you're answering them, I'm figuring out how to ask another question, a better question, so that I'm able to help you fully comprehend what you need to do to move forward. Then you have consulting where I'm just telling you what to do because you told me exactly what you want. Then mentorship is I'm in the exact same place where you want to be. So follow my blueprint and you'll actually get there. And then so on and so forth. So when you when you actually establish, I want you to mentor me, I want you to coach me, I want you to do all of those things. Okay, what are you actually willing to do in order to prove that that's the case? You're right now, again, being transparent, you're helping me understand, even from what my coach says, that I need to chase him more because I haven't fully been, or I would even say at all, I haven't, I haven't been the person that I said I was going to be to him in order to show him that I do want it bad enough. And when he when it really boils down to it, it's not about the coach as much as much as it is the individual, because you're not really there to prove to them that you want it. You're there to prove to yourself that you want it. And if you don't follow those steps, what you're actually doing is you're pushing yourself further back mentally to where now you start to lose self-trust.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

That was my next point that I'm glad that you touched on that because how do you learn to trust yourself? Like, how do you know you don't trust yourself? And I thought about that on my way here. Like, I asked myself that same question. Like, do I trust myself? I don't trust myself around ice cream because I would eat it, and I'm not supposed to. Okay, I don't trust myself around tacos because I know I'm gonna eat them and I'm not supposed to right now.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

See.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

So I guess how can someone learn to learn to self-trust?

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Consistency. You it's a daily journey. If you're it's a daily journey, but it's also a consistent journey. And what I mean by that is two different things. A daily journey is every single day, right? But if you decide, let's say uh a skill set, let's just say any skill set. I want to learn this skill set, I want to be consistent in it. Okay, break down what does consistent actually mean to you? Okay, is it two days? Is it three days? What does your schedule actually look like in order for that to be consistent? Because if you don't break that down, there will be a point of your mind to where if you're not doing all seven days, now you just lost self-trust. But if you've already told yourself, no, consistent for me is cleaning my room as a child two times a week. It's uh making sure that I get up and be at work on time five days a week. Okay, now I'm starting to trust myself because all five days I've actually shown up to work. Every those two days that week, I've actually cleaned. So the self-trust is built by what you've actually communicated with yourself and then actually followed through with.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

How did you come up with this concept of identity? Like what's what what what made you say, I'm just going to teach people about identity and what is identity?

Building Self Trust Through Consistency

SPEAKER_02 18:05

How did you discover that? Because there's so many, there's so many identities. Like for me, I look at it from a biblical perspective. You know, my identity is in Christ. And so the word of God says that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. Exactly. Doesn't matter how I look, right? That he loves me, that I'm the apple of his eye.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

That he died for me. He came to give me life and more abundantly, that he gave me hope in a future and not to harm me. So my identity my identity is found in that. Right. But there are other people that find their identity in money. And you talk about that too.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

They find their identity in in whatever.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

So what is a healthy identity?

SPEAKER_00 18:48

A healthy identity is is knowing whatever you are spiritually. So follower of Christ as well. So for me, it's knowing what my image is in Christ. And so with that, it's knowing that I'm not I'm not a coach. I'm not a father. I'm not, you know, all these different things. I am a child of God that does all those things. And it just makes that much more of a difference when you're when you're able to identify that way versus saying, I'm a father. Okay, well, your child just graduated, and now they're barely talking to you because they have their own life. So your identity was in this one place, and now you start to think you're not a father anymore, even though you are.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

So you lose that. So you can't identify with those things. You have to identify with something higher than yourself.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

Yeah, that is so good. That is so good. You're right though. I'm just thinking about that because you know, dads, fathers, mothers, even us as moms.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

We cook and we clean and we do them. And when they're gone, we're still cooking and cleaning like they're still at home. I and I'm I did that, but you know, I realized they're gone, like there's just me.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

And so I had to just start narrowing it down. So then you're you can if you don't have a rooted foundation, correct? You can just lose it. Yes. And that's where I think a lot of people lose it.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Because they're really not rooted in in a true foundation of for me is is God, you know.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Right. And I've um I've had that myself as well. Where I mean, whether it was football, I remember being in football and getting to the point to where I had to make a decision, and the decision was to move on from football, and I didn't realize that my identity was in it. And so I got lost. And for five plus years, I questioned who I was and things like that. And that's what led me to identity.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

And when you teach it, what what is the what do you is there like a rule that you follow or tell me about that?

SPEAKER_00 21:12

So I I call it ID execution. So identify identity. So identify your identity and then make the decisions that serve that identity, and then execute. So follow actually follow through with that, and through that, you'll build that self-trust. And that's what most of us have the challenge with. We

Healthy Identity Beyond Roles

SPEAKER_00 21:35

the world has us moving so fast that we forget to be patient, not only with others, but with ourselves. And when we're not patient with ourselves, we we start to lack the execution of the morals we said we had, the habits we said we had. And that's where that. Self-trust starts to get lost. And over time, because time rolls so fast, you've now lost all that self-trust, and then you misidentify who you actually are. And now you're curious as to you know, how do what do I actually do?

SPEAKER_02 22:16

What what would you say are if you don't know morals, how would you discover morals?

SPEAKER_00 22:23

That's a good question.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

Because you have different cultures, you know. And so if someone doesn't know what morals is or how to have morals, how would they begin from scratch on developing those morals and and and putting them into practice?

SPEAKER_00 22:39

That the beauty, the beauty and the curse of having the information wall of Google and everything else is the beauty of it is you have it all right there. So if you're looking for morals, if you're looking for uh values, if you're looking for all those things, be willing to actually look those things up. And uh if you're a true follower of Christ, find where they are in the Bible. Okay, now it's in this chapter, it's in this section, etc. Okay. Do am I actually living that life? Do I actually want to live that life? Questions that you still have to ask yourself. And if those things are the case, then you move accordingly. You make the decision and then you execute by following through.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

That's good. So identity versus performance. If I hadn't met Christopher 10 years ago, who was he trying to impress?

SPEAKER_00 23:37

The people that I cared about. Yeah, it was that people.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

Who are those people?

SPEAKER_00 23:43

Anybody and everybody that believed in me. The the people that for me, fam fam blood is one thing, right? But family is something completely different. You could be a good friend of mine that I grew up with, and just because you're not my blood doesn't mean you're not my family. And so when I know that you have that belief in me, though those were the people that I would try to do so much for, not realizing that they just wanted me. They didn't, I didn't need to perform, they already believed in me. I just needed to live the life that I chose to live according to my values and morals in order to get to the place that I wanted to be. And those people would continue to believe in me because I showed them that I am

Morals Values And The Integrity Test

SPEAKER_00 24:35

still me.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

And I think that's important. I think that mattered, that has to be like your family being in the right atmosphere to be able to develop those morals.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

And those rules, the following rules. I think we're gonna, we're not gonna do this, we're gonna do this, you know, we're gonna forgive each other, we're gonna come together, we're gonna reunite, you know, we're gonna let this thing go, we're gonna we're gonna squash this thing, right? We're gonna make it right. Right. And having family makes a big difference. Huge. So was there ever someone that you realize they want something different from me that I don't want? And then the only reason I say that is because I've had people one number one ask me, what is morals? I don't even know what that is.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Right.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

And so that's why I asked. So great answer on that because it's true, you know, you have to discover what morals are you willing to live by, you know, either biblically or around your around your your your family. You know, you're raised with those kind of morals, but you have to determine what are good morals and what are bad morals, because you can be in a family that says, where we lie all the time. That's our motto, you know. And that doesn't mean it's a good moral. Yeah. So you have to know what good good things are gonna come out of that. And so who are you trying to honor today? You know, because we have to, we have to you've done so much with your family. You've you you realize that you've got all this around you, you know. So now who are you wanting to honor?

SPEAKER_00 26:04

God. God and only God. The I'll steward what He's given me, but I'll honor God by stewarding those things. I have the responsibility as a male to lead my family, to lead my community, whatever that looks like, whether it be small community, large, it depends on what God has given you, right? The task. And so for me, honoring God is just walking in those steps, you know, not living of the world and doing doing the things that that you know are wrong, but because everybody else is doing them, you think it's okay. Like you know it's wrong, but you think it's okay. So honoring God is having that that purpose and passion to to be so focused on that that you don't even see those distractions because that's truly what they are. They're just distractions.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

And that's that goes back to your point of being having integrity.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

Right.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

And so that's basically what it is. You know, you do the right thing when nobody's looking. Exactly. You know, that you still do it, even if it's going to bring you a reward or not, that you are know that God is watching you, that He is looking at you, and He's ask asking, Are you going to steward what I've given you? So was it integrity something that you had to learn along the way?

SPEAKER_00 27:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

I think that's for others.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Yeah, that's definitely so.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

We have to ask ourselves those questions, is this right or not?

SPEAKER_00 27:41

Yeah. I mean, it's what it's the what does it actually even mean? And that integrity piece is it's not just uh being certain and keeping a promise to someone else, it's also keeping one to yourself. Because again, it goes back to that self-trust. If you if you don't have integrity, then what do you really have? You know, if you don't if you don't stand on something, you can fall for anything. And you know, integrity is is everything. But in order to have that integrity, you have to know what you stand for. You have to you have to be willing to sit down, be silent, Bible-wise, in your closet, right? And really speak to yourself and say, Who am I? Whose am I? What do I stand for? And then truly start to live

Honoring God While Leading Others

SPEAKER_00 28:40

out those things. And that's integrity.

SPEAKER_02 28:43

And that's beautiful because you know, when you live out those things, there's a reward for that.

SPEAKER_00 28:48

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

And even though we don't do it for that purpose, it's a promise from God.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

That he rewards those things. You know, he says, you know, that if you honor your father and mother so that the days of your life could could be long. So we extend our life when we reap, when we sow good things and when we honor. And the same thing, when we honor people, he honors us. Right. And we're sowing honor, we're gonna reap honor. Right. So it boils down to whatever it is that you're sowing. Just remember that it's gonna, you're gonna reap that. Every time. So it's a law. And so it's like you have to ask yourself, what am I sowing? I think one of the greatest questions I had to ask was, what am I sowing? And I think that if everybody asks that question, then you can look at it. If I'm sowing this and I'm gonna reap this, is this what I want to reap? And so that's that's beautiful. I do want to ask you, I know we're running out of time, but I want to ask you, Christopher, imagine someone listening today who's intelligent, who's gifted, capable, but secretly exhausted from trying to become someone they think everyone else expects them to be. They're one decision away from giving up. What would you want them to hear today?

SPEAKER_00 30:07

I would want them to hear that you're everything that you think you are. And that's a pro and a con, right? You're everything that you think you are. So if you think that you're in lack, then you are. But there's a way to change that. And you change that by doing what's necessary, whether it be finding that mentor or coach, going to the Bible and actually, you know, really diving into it and learning versus only going to one location and thinking that that's going to heal you. So you are what you think you are. Start speaking that over your life. Start building your foundation properly,

Final Challenge Pause And Ask

SPEAKER_00 30:55

because if you want the proper house, you have to start with the foundation. So I would I would say that. And then when it all boils down to it, identify it, make the decision, and execute.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

I would like for you to encourage our listeners because I'm sure they're gonna share it. So I would really, really would like you can share your your information as well.

SPEAKER_00 31:20

Be in my football mode right now. Just know who you are. You're you're you're everything. You can do anything that you want to accomplish. You it just takes time. Be patient with yourself. Nobody is competing with you but you. You got this. Everything that you can imagine is there and imaginable for a reason. It's there because God is giving you that gift and he wants you to fulfill it. But in order to fulfill it, you have to slow down in order to speed up. You got this.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Anything else you want to add? Or ask.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

I ask I ask everyone to take a pause. If you listen when you listen to this, just pause, breathe, and ask yourself, Am I becoming the person that I choose to become? If that isn't the case, then ask yourself, how can I do that? And if you need help, you have my information, ClarityCreatesCurrency.com. Social media is my name at Chris DiazendogA Anthony. And I'll be more than glad to help you. But ask yourself those questions and everything will start to flow.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

Thank you, Christopher.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 32:47

Thank you for watching Overcome Our Podcast. I'm Maggie Wynn, your host. We'll see you again next time. God bless you.